Wish-list.

So. I have about two and half weeks until I leave for Minnesota, and this excursion falls right after my 30th birthday. In order to go, I'm going to need to collect quite a bit of gear, both for survival up in the northwoods and for the trip in my ramshackle old tour van. Living in Colorado has robbed me of my stock of appropriate winter apparel, and the consistently below-zero temperatures are going to kill me dead. Here's some stuff I need, which you can then buy and give to me because you don't want to see me die. Plus, I like, only turn 30 once, dude. Pony up, and consider this my Mid-Life Crisis Registry:

GENERAL STUFF:

Long underwear.

Good boots (Sorels, size 10 1/2 or 11).

Warm socks.

Warm gloves.

Good stocking-hat (black!).

Snow pants (wheee!).

Outdoorsy-guy pants (think, like, Cartharts. That's what manly guys wear, right)?

New sunglasses (manly aviators!)

Dog sweater & boots (like me, Annyong is a little hothouse flower).

Sand bags.

Road salt.

Candles.

Road flares.

Sub-zero sleeping bag.

FOOD

Five 5-gallon jugs of water.

Potatoes. A lot of potatoes.

Canned foods (vegetables, soups, chili/chile, beans, etc.)

Meat. A lot of meat. The manlier the better.

Dried foods (beans, lentils, grains, etc.)

Dog food.

STUFF THAT WILL KEEP ME FROM GOING CRAZY UP THERE

Books.

Replacement battery charger for my camera (it's a Kodak EasyShare Z7590).

DSL plug-in to get internet through my cell phone.

Cell phone signal booster.

So that's what I need. And, uh, if you wanted, I wouldn't say no to the Sopranos, BSG, The Wire or any other DVDs. Them Minnesota nights are long and lonely. Likewise, bottles of whiskey will not be turned away.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I'll be close to Bena, Minnesota, a hamlet of about 100 people, predominantly Chippewa that, like a lot of American Indian communities, is quite impoverished and has suffered terribly in recent years from a meth epidemic. Here're a few maps of the location:


There's the tab of Bena, which is about 5 miles from the cabin, in relation to the rest of the state. Bena doesn't have a grocery store, so I'll likely be going to Cass Lake, about a 30-minute drive in the winter, for that. Cass Lake also has a hospital, but it's a Chippewa Nations one. I assume they'll set a bone or repair a bear-mauling if I need them to, though.


A shot of the region. You can see Lake Winnibigoshish (where I'll be) in relation to Bena, Cass Lake (to the west) and Leech Lake (the spidery-looking one to the south). The town of Walker is on Leech Lake. There's a casino and another Chippewa hospital there.


Detail of southeastern Winnibigoshish. The Mississippi flows in at the eastern edge, which is where I'll be. Most of this area is Chippewa National Forest.


The cabin's location, indicated by (duh) the arrow. You can see docks if you look closely. The cabin is part of a strip of summer homes built on the lake in the '50s, when the Forest Service, in a fit of stupidity, let people develop there. The land is still owned by the Forest Service, but the cabins are private property, used as vacation home since the Forest Service prohibits year-round occupancy. The developed area just to the west of the cabin is a resort that close to nobody uses in the winter, except for the rare ice-fishermen. They'll be the ones I'll call if I need the roads plowed.

The lake will be thoroughly frozen, although accounts vary whether the Mississippi keeps a channel open year-round. I should be able to walk or drive across the lake if I need to, although pretty much everything I need will be on the south side of Winnibigoshish. The city of Bemidji, a sort of redneck college/tourist town that has that famous Paul Bunyan statue and museum, is about an hour away. So there's that.